How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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