Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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