u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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