Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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