It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
They are going to name an STD after you.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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