i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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