i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
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To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
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I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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