So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
she looked like the before picture.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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