very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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