oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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