Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
