Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
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