nut hugger
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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