Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
