This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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