she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Boobs are out for the taking
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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