ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
