im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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