WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
