saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize