Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
