I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
honey bunches of taint.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
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tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
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I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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