Having a random hookup so left but love u
fuck your aforementioned shoe
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
