As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
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Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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