I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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