I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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