nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
