Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
