I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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