STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
We were destined to go to rehab together
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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