If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
time to smoke my breakfast
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
