I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
