i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
