He uses pillows to masturbate.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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