Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
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