Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
