I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
