btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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