I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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