Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
