last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
