Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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