You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
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