So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
