You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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