i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Randomize
