Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
