Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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