I must be too annoying 4 u.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
