I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
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