There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
