Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
