Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
