If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
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I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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