Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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