i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
