Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
