If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
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