My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
