do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
